It's like having drug addiction

I'm feeling rather addicted of msg to her almost everyday. It have been 3 days ever since i stop msg her. The feeling everyday. every hours is like a torture to me. Why? Why am i such a complete failure. Why did i fall so deep this time round?

I guess i just want to know the feeling of being love rather than just to love. Have tried all the ways i can to stop everything but it always the case that something will prevent it from happening. Why? i feel so terrible everyday. I have never been happy ever since. Or never been happy before my life i guess. My smile is just rather fake. Its not real afterall...